I wish I were able to put into words how I'm feeling, but I can't.

I have so many emotions that are at odds with one another that I'm honestly still just trying to keep it all together.

I think the thing that hurts the most about being broken up with is the feeling of inadequacy. I feel tiny. I feel like I failed, like I'm not good enough and I don't deserve to be loved. I feel stupid: for not seeing it coming, for falling in love with my entire heart and soul, for trusting one person so completely.

Everything happens for a reason. No one believes this more than I do. As tough as it is to see and believe, the reason he was in my life wasn't for him (necessarily), but to lead me somewhere. To my dream job, to a person who will change my life, to an idea I never would have had before.

On the positive side, I've been reading like crazy. Mostly because he'd lent me books that I will be returning on Friday or Saturday, but who am I to complain about a little motivation?

1 comment:

  1. You are a great friend, a talented writer, and a beautiful person! Don't forget that. You deserve so much better than this--I am so mad that he would be so blind to not count his blessings for having you. But now its a new era: time for new, fun times. Try not to feel down--its hard, but you will get through this!!